The Misskey forks are definitely the best UX as an end user I’ve tested out. And I found them easier to set up than Lemmy. But I also found that they caused frequent CPU spikes on my VPS.
I’m not sure if Mastodon does that or not, as I didn’t try running it, but I didn’t have the same experience with Akkoma or Friendica.
That said, I found Icefish’s implementation of the Mastodon API a godsend for mobile use.
Federated means you shoulder the cost of hosting the bits users care about, while they harvest all the value in what you post!